Are you f***** KIDDING ME?
If I saw these two things looking back at me while I was in the woods - 1 of 2 things are going to happen: 1. I would die. or 2. They would. Because I'd be so friggin terrified I wouldn't know what the hell else to do. Don't get me wrong - I don't want to hurt kangaroos. I just think I'd be so freaked out I wouldnt know what the hell to do. And you know who I blame for that?
CARTOONS.
That's right- cartoons taught me that kangaroos were cuddly things that were playful and fun, and they carried their babies in a pouch! How cute is that?
Then you find out they really look like THIS!
And they show up at your door looking like THIS!
Are you f****** kidding me? And don't even get me started on how cute it is that they "box' you! They don't "BOX" you- they DISTRACT YOU and then do THIS!
And those feet have claws that will disembowel you in a second! You'll be standing there saying "WTF??" - as your innards pour out on to the friggin ground, bro!!
**** KANGAROOS, MAN! No WAY would I mess with em! Seriously I think that if you're unfortunate enough to end up in hell after you die- you'll find one of THESE things will be guarding the gate! And when you see em - you're going to say to yourself - "Holy shit! Kretchy was RIGHT!"
Damn right I am!
So let this serve as a reminder and a public service reminder that roo's ain't cute or cuddly. They're DANGEROUS and should be avoided.
And I'll leave you with a true hero of a man. The only man (that I know of) to escape a battle with one of these soldiers of the devil -
this might be my favorite video of all time-
Long live that guy.
And f*** that kangaroo.
Make that all kangaroos.
#Kidding #NotReally #TotallySerious #KangaroosAreEvil