Todays meeting was a long one, and I'll be honest- it wasn't looking good for this edition because Kelly was furiously working on the office football pool.
Yes, while he was in a meeting.
Of course, KCB III is incredibly adept at multitasking. At his level, he can listen to a conversation with great retention and comprehension- WHILE he'd doing the football pool and deciding which piece of sh** welcher is trying to stiff him on a $5 bet on a college football game. He's THAT damn good.
And all the while- his chiseled features hypnotize anyone who looks at him. They said you turned to stone if you looked Medusa in the eyes. With Kelly Brown - you get pregnant. I don't care what sex you identify as - if you look deep into the eyes of Kelly Charles Brown - you're getting pregnant.
So with that in mind- lets check some of this weeks selections and their captions, here's the first:
"Wait! You're telling me you CAN'T get gonorrhea from a toilet seat?"
And next, a photo reveals the cunning he possesses. He's like the cougar that lures you in -because you're caught up the chilled tension of his spiked salt and pepper hair...
But when you least expect it.......that's when he gets you - thats' why I call this one:
"If I look serious like I'm listening and ease it out, maybe it will be a silent one".....
Trust me when I say - it wasn't silent. And yes- everyone knew it was him.
I offer this next collage of photos - taken within a 10 min span- of how hard Kelly works. I call this one...
"Someone Needs a Nap"
And two minutes after the last yawn.....
He's out. Down for the count as if Tyson caught him with a punishing right to the temple.
Next, I look up to see that he's silently fondling his chest.
And he slowly wakes from his dream, i hear him mumbling...
"Yes, just like that. That's how I like it".
And I shudder. Holy shit, thats creepy.....
But not as creepy as this next one...
"Guess what my hands are doing?"
I told ya. Double creepy.
And last but not least...a little known fact about KCB III is that he has been known - from time to time- to break out into a broadway tune. He's particularly fond of "West Side Story"....
"I feel pretty! Oh so Pretty! I feel pretty, and witty and wise!!!"
No wonder the ladies love him. God-like handsome, size 15 feet, and he croons broadway hits.
I hate him.
But I love him.
Such is the life of sitting across the table from Kelly Brown.