Greg Kretschmar

Greg Kretschmar

Listen to Greg & The Morning Buzz weekdays 5:30am-10am!Full Bio


My Beef with The Marvel and DC Universe Movies

Ok, so let's start here: It's not secret that I think Hollywood is WAYYYYY oversaturated with movies based on super heroes and comic books. Having said that- I generally don't like them.

And before you start getting ready to rip my head off because you LOVE them- hear me out.

Saying "I don't like them" ISN'T saying "they suck". BIG difference. I don't like them because they just aren't for me. I realize they are huge money makers and millions of people love em so much they'll reserve tickets months in advance just to see them. So, I KNOW I'm in the extreme minority here. Those movies have probably kept Hollywood alive for the last four years, because other than Top Gun, I don't even know if I can name another blockbuster that wasn't a comic book movie (or the 29th edition of Fast and Furious!).

But on Saturday night, a friend REALLY wanted to go see Guardians of the Galaxy 3- and I figured- what the hell, I'll give it a try and see how it goes. I promise- I went in with an open mind without complaining one bit. I realize that going into see the 3rd movie into a series would be difficult for me. I'd miss a lot of character definition and stuff that would be important to understand as the movie went along. But here we go - we went.

I'm gonna be brutally honest here - but I didn't know what the f*** was going on in that movie until about the last half hour. It was such a bombastic overload of fights, explosions and fire- I couldn't make out what the story was supposed to be about. Part of this, no doubt, was due to the fact that I jumped into the third movie of the series. Having said that- a well made movie would still clue you in as to who was doing what and why, to bring along a first time viewer.

I wanted to like the characters, but I found it hard to warm up to them because they all seemed kind of stiff! lm not going to give away any plot twists- and all I will say is that it became clear to me with about 40 min left in the film.

And they I got it. Ok - I know why this is all happening, and who is who.

That's when I knew exactly how it would end.

And i was right. Ugh.

In short, no, I did not like it. Not one bit. It's just not the kind of movie that I like. These all seem like the same damn movie with different masks, capes and costumes. The world is always in peril, and they blow everything up in an attempt to save it. Fights that last 30 minutes, and half the world is destroyed in the process. Oh yeah, and they throw in old hit tunes to make it sound cool too. I've seen it all a million times, and yet still - they churn them out. I just don't get it.

I saw "Air" last week. It was excellent. A great story, with great acting. And not one person had a super power or blew any shit up. That's what Im looking for. War movies, thrillers, horror, comedies- any movie with real friggin people in it.

And today- a guy texted in that Star Wars was the same thing. BZZZZZZZZZZ. Wrong answer. It wasn't the same at all. That was the BEGINNING of that genre. Just like Spiderman and Batman were the beginning of the comic book genre. I dug those movies! But by the 700th comic book movie- yeah, I gotta tap out. (Whens the last time you saw 3 Star Wars related movies in a year? With comics- its Antman, Aquaman, The Batman, Venom, ad naseum)

There's a billion people in Hollywood who are storytellers. So how about we make more movies OUTSIDE of the damn Marvel universe? THAT'S my gripe. Are you telling me that nobody can write an original movie outside of that genre? C'mon! Hey - I get it - they make the money, and that's what Hollywood wants. They've all but given up because Im not they guy they're shooting for. Like it or not- they;re shooting for the teens to mid 30's crowd who will go see the movie 4 times!

Um, thanks but not thanks. Not me.

So my whole point is this: if you love em - great. Go enjoy em. But I don't get it, and I ain't going. I don't want a movie that is nothing but a bombastic ASSAULT of explosions, with people who fly, throw fire, have laser eyes, can life trains, squirt webs, cause huge storms with their eyes, stretch like a rubber band, are made of stone, can fly, wield a huge hammer, or become invisible and fly an invisible plane. After all...

What am I? Five?

(haha- sorry man, I had to!)

Im teasing - but none of that stuff is for me.

But you go on -enjoy the hell out of it. Rock on with your bad self.

But if you ask me? Guardians 3 was awful.

Lets just agree to disagree. Cool?

Love ya, mean it!


Sponsored Content

Sponsored Content