The Meeting Faces of Kelly Brown: 5-16-22 Edition (You're welcome...)

"His face, chiseled and rough, still - it looked like heaven"

-Poet Laureate Howie Felter, on Kelly Brown

Another Monday, another day of looking into the face of Adonis. I know - you're saying "Greg, how do you do it? How do you stare at such beauty and not be overcome by emotion?"

Trust me. It ain't easy. Sometimes if you stare into the wells of his poop brown colored eyes- it makes even the toughest man break down and weep. I've seen it happen.

Some things, I guess.....just can't be explained. All I can do- is show you.....

So today - as my gift to the world - I give you, count them - SIX faces of Kelly Brown.....

Let me break down this masterful collage of art for you, starting from top left, across and down....

The meeting begins, and Kelly realizes it's another Monday where he has to sit and suffer through another meeting of mere mortals. Meantime, there are bets two be placed, craft beers to be sampled, and new silky lingerie to try on. Somehow, he summons the strength to carry on.

Next, his annoyance is apparent and the room holds it's breath - waiting for KCB III gaze to instantly turn the recipient into stone. But it doesn't. Kelly, ever the loving, caring human - has spared his life. He is nothing if not benevolent.

In the third image, Kelly is fairly sure he may have s*** himself. Two quick snorts of his nose lets him know that he didn't. It was clearly Roadkill. "Poor guy", Kelly thinks. "So short, and still so full of s***. So sad....".

In photo 4, Kelly is attempting to use the laser beams in his eyes to turn the bird on the window sill into a fried chicken wing. Also, his benevolence shows again, and the birds life is spared. It's hard to laser beam an animal- when you're wearing a shirt for the SPCA fundraiser....

Photo 5 shows a man clearly exhausted from having to carry the weight of human kind on his shoulders. Any other man would crumble, but Kelly soldiers on, knowing that books will be written about him in the future, and people will marvel at not just his beauty, but his incredible fortitude and strength. I mean, God said "On the 7th day, man should rest"- didn't he? It shouldn't matter that this was taken 7 minutes into the meeting !

And lastly- the voices in his head are SCREAMING - "MY THONG IS TOO TIGHT!!! MY THONG IS TOO TIGHT!!!! MY B***S CAN'T BREATHE!!!!!".

And that's all I have to say about that...

I know at this point- you probably need a moment to recover- but know this:

FACT: Statistics have shown that within 2 hours of my posting these photos each week- the percentage of women who begin ovulating skyrockets. It can't be explained, it just....IS.

And now to the bonus round...

Kelly: "I'm pretty sure I can see her nipple...."

Kelly: "If I use the chocolate donut emoji, with the finger pointing emoji before it- I think Kappy Karl will know exactly what I mean..."

And lastly....

The smile that makes women (and men) just lay down and give themselves freely (and with complete consent...btw) to him.....

As it should be.

As it should be.

Here endeth the lesson.

g


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